Love of Wizards

At the tender age of eleven, Danielle Berry awoke to find an owl scratching its talons on her window.  The owl was entrusted with a letter from the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.  Danielle was flattered by the invitation, but not surprised to find out she was a witch;  things had been occurring in Ogden, Utah that were of a strange nature.  For example: while Danielle was staring at a sand cat in the Salt Lake City zoo, the glass mysteriously melted, releasing the rabid beast on the Pope and his "choir" boys.  Danielle was perplexed by this incident, but shrugged it off as a matter of divine intervention.  Another example: During a heated discussion at the local Denny's, Danielle accidentally turned her friend Katie into a ferret, and proceeded to drop her down the pants of the nearest elder.   


Despite these strange occurrences, Danielle was too apathetic to give a shit.  She kept living her life on the edge, hanging out with her pals Ryan, Nathan, and aforementioned random female.  But when this mysterious envelope arrived via owl, Danielle's apathy began to waver.  She was fully aware of the perks of attending Hogwarts: hot wizards with British accents, flying on a stick, and using magical sticks to make life pleasurable.  She was, also, however, aware of the drawbacks: Harry Potter was a whiny, punk-ass bitch, and she wasn't sure if she wanted to deal with that shit.


As Danielle clutched the letter, she expected to be overcome with joyous emotions; however, Danielle was no ordinary girl.  She had exceptional capacity for apathy, and found herself not giving a damn.  Danielle looked down at the letter, shrugged, and threw it under her bed, somewhere between Risk and her discarded, disheveled emotions.  She then proceeded to play Tetris.  To this day, the letter from Hogwarts collects dust, along with Danielle's denied emotions.