Note: I apologize for the tardiness of this post. This should have appeared a day ago.
Strangely enough, however, if I would have posted a day ago, the topic that sparked my interest wouldn't have been apparent. That is: Black Friday. Or more specifically: the sock-mongers at Fred Meyer.
On a strange whim, I decided that this morning would be a good time to attend Fred Meyer. My train of thought was as follows: "I want to purchase tights; Black Friday means sales!; Fred Meyers is within walking distance of my house!; Yay!" What my train of thought should have been, however, is this: "I want to purchase tights; the tights are right next to the socks; Fred Meyer is known for attracting crazy, sock-hungry beasts on Black Friday; I will not go." Unfortunately, the latter, more logical thought pattern never entered my mind (until now), so I trekked to Fred Meyer, happy and ignorant of what was to come.
Upon entering Fred Meyer, I encountered rows of big, white tables. Big boxes full of socks perched atop these tables: white socks, colored socks, dress socks, athletic socks, holiday socks, knee socks, ankle socks, fuzzy socks, and more. Whatever type of sock the human brain can dream up, Fred Meyer had it that day.
What was more apparent, however, was not the immense variety of socks in stock, but the hoards of ravenous, blood-thirsty people surrounding them. These people treated sock hunting like they were starving forest dwellers, searching for wild game. They dug their paws into the boxes of socks and thrashed about, throwing the less attractive socks aside, in a whirlwind of sock mayhem. The unattractive socks lay on the ground like fallen soldiers; collateral damage in the Great Sock War. The attractive socks were hoarded and shoved in grocery bags, under armpits, or clutched tightly to the chest. As I waded through the mess towards the tights rack, I could have sworn I saw one man foaming at the mouth. They were aggressive, they were abundant, and they meant business.
I eventually got what I wanted out of the trip (four pairs of tights for only 16 dollars! Ooooh yeah), and suffered only minor injuries. More importantly, I saw what humankind is like when exposed to cheap socks in a limited space.
I didn't know people were so sock-happy. You must've been there early in the morning, what time did you go?
ReplyDelete"These people treated sock hunting like they were starving forest dwellers, searching for wild game. They dug their paws into the boxes of socks and thrashed about, throwing the less attractive socks aside, in a whirlwind of sock mayhem."
ReplyDeleteUm, mackenzie i meees you!